Shattered
by FanficFixation
Summary: After 'Hulking out', all Bruce wants to do is sleep away the exhaustion. If only it were that simple. The Avengers learn that transforming takes more out of the physicist than they first thought.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note**

Another Avengers fic, as I received such a positive response for the last one's I thought I should write more Bruce feels. Just a quick note that although I am from England I try to use American words/spellings in my stories because I know a lot of the people reading this are from the USA, so forgive me if a few English words slip in unintentionally. Don't forget to let me know what you think, enjoy.

**Shattered**

As sleep left him, Bruce Banner reluctantly began to wake from a deep slumber.

The feeling of gentle warmth of the side of his face and the sound of a loud voice eased him into a state of consciousness. He furrowed his brows in confusion as he slowly opened his eyes, releasing a pained groan when bright sunlight temporarily blinded him, causing him to squint heavily.

He promptly rolled over onto his front and buried his face deeply into the plump, soft pillow beneath his head in an attempt to block out the unwanted light. He closed his eyes, willing for sleep to claim him once more. Bruce shifted against the silky bed sheets covering him and pulled them over his head, nuzzling deeper into the fabric; feeling content and completely comfortable.

Another loud noise caused him to cover his ears is discontent.

'Dr Banner?'

Was that a voice calling his name? It was difficult to tell when he felt so drowsy, each one of his senses were reacting slower than normal and his head felt like it was full of cotton wool, making everything too fuzzy for his tired brain to comprehend.

'Dr Banner I must insist you awaken sir,' a familiar British accent reached his ears.

The physicist sighed in mild annoyance as he slowly began to awaken more fully, recognising the voice that interrupted him from his well needed rest.

So someone had been calling his name; he'd hoped that it had been a figment of his imagination.

'-m awake' he mumbled, sitting up he propped himself up on one elbow and rubbed his tired eyes with the back of his hand.

'My apologies for disturbing you Dr Banner, but I must inform you that director Fury has called for a debriefing at Shield headquarters within the next hour and the presence of all Avengers is required,' Jarvis informed him.

'What time is it?' Bruce asked, yawed loudly.

'The time is 8:15am sir,' the AI answered in his usual articulate tone.

Banner groaned pitifully and crawled back into bed, pulling the duvet over his head.

'Just five more minutes…' he pleaded, childishly.

'I'm afraid that if you do not get out of bed Dr Banner, I will be forced to operate alarm protocol 58 sir, as suggested by Mr Stark.'

Bruce whined.

The last time he didn't get out of bed, Tony had decided to turn on all the water sprinklers in Bruce's apartment. Needless to say the scientist didn't appreciate his room being turned into a swimming pool and being doused in water so early in the morning. Unsurprising Bruce had been very wet and extremely annoyed; everyone kept their distance that day.

It was a miracle he hadn't transformed.

He decided to get up before he could experience what other creative ways the billionaire had come up with to make him get out of bed.

It took a great deal of effort for the scientist to remove himself from the cosy cocoon of bed sheets he was currently nestled in. Swivelling his legs over the side of the bed, he slowly pushed himself to his feet and stretched his arms above his head, arching his back like a cat; wincing at the feeling of popping and aching joints.

Bruce leisurely shuffled towards the ensuite bathroom connected to his bedroom, screwing up his face in displeasure at the unpleasant feeling of his bare feet on the cold tiled floor.

Closing the door behind him, he stripped himself of his pyjama bottoms and turned on the shower before stepping beneath the warm cascade of water. He sighed in content as the temperature began to sooth his aching body. Banner began rolling his neck and shoulders in small circles, trying to ease the terrible stiffness in his body that he had obtained from the weeks strenuous activities.

The Avengers had been called out by Fury to assist shield multiple times in the past week, dealing with anything from terrorist attacks to destructive robots. He'd been forced to hulk out four times in one week had barley slept more than a few hours.

Now he was paying the consequences.

He felt utterly shattered.

His body hurt, everything ached and all he wanted to do was sleep; but it seemed that the world was determined to keep him from doing so and keep him awake for as long as possible. Every time he'd tried to get some shut eye he'd been disturbed for one reason or another and it was begging to get frustrating.

The few hours sleep he had managed to obtain had little effect on him at all, transforming zapped so much energy out of him it wasn't unusual for the scientist to sleep for at least 48 hours afterwards; necessary for his body to recover from the strain of a full body transformation. Unfortunately he hadn't managed to sleep off the exhaustion and he felt worse for it; physically and mentally.

The thought of sitting through yet another longwinded, unnecessary meeting nearly brought the physicist to tears.

Bruce's eyes began to droop heavily and he shook his head to try and make himself feel more alert. He quickly rinsed the shampoo from his hair and finished up his shower before he could accidentally drown himself in his sleep.

After towel drying his hair he threw on a pair of cream chinos and a loose fitting purple button up shirt, rolling the sleeves to his elbows. When he was fully dressed he grabbed a comb from the cabinet in the bathroom and began combing his hair, checking his reflection in the mirror as he did so.

He looked awful.

His face was considerably paler than usual, making his grey tinged hair stand out more considerably. It looked as if all the colour had been washed out of him accept for the dark smudges beneath his brown eyes that made him look weary and haunted.

Accepting that his appearance was unlikely to dramatically improve any time soon, the scientist decided that he looked somewhat presentable and exited his large, spacious apartment, heading straight for the elevator. There was no way he would be using the stairs today, unless Tony had miraculously built in a slide overnight. Bruce mused internally, he was surprised he hadn't already built one when the tower was refurbished, the man was a big child at heart after all.

'Which floor do you require Dr Banner?' Jarvis piped up as he stepped into the confined space.

'Kitchen please.'

He headed toward the shared kitchen facility in the hope that someone had already made breakfast, he could of course use his own facilities but he wasn't sure that his brain was functioning enough to let him make food without causing any accidents. The doors clicked shut and the lift began to whir to life. Banner leaned against the metal wall behind him and closed his eyes momentarily, the vibrations and movement making him feel lethargic. After a short moment the lift came to a halt, causing the Doctor to jerk awake.

'Floor 37; kitchen and services,' the AI informed as the doors opened with a click.

'Thanks,' he mumbled, stumbling out of the elevator.

Almost instantly the moment he stepped out into the hallway his head began to pound. He could hear a group of voices in the distance bickering loudly; increasing in volume the closer he walked. He rubbed his temples as he turned corner into the kitchen, hoping that the noise would die down upon his arrival when suddenly a loud crash made him flinch considerably.

'Butterfingers what are you doing?!' Tony shrieked from his seat at the island in the middle of the room. He was dressed in his usual casual attire, a black Sabbath t-shirt and a pair of tight fitting black pants, his hair was slightly dishevelled from where he'd undoubtedly been running his fingers through it.

A robot was at the sink in the corner of the room, surrounded by bits of broken porcelain, clutching a wet scrubbing brush. He turned around and made a whirring noise as his creator scolded him.

'Geez your such a klutz you know that?' he grimaced, 'what did I tell you about handling breakables?' he huffed.

The robot whirred again and looked down at the floor, analysing the mess it had created.

'Why are you by the sink anyway? Get away from there before you fry your circuit board block head.'

Butterfingers dropped the brush and turned on his wheels to face the inventor, but was unable to move as bits of ceramic became embedded in his joints. The machine beeped, looking up at the billionaire helplessly.

Stark gave a heavy sigh as he rose from his stool, carefully tiptoeing over the clutter.

'I swear your worse than a child, c'mere let me see your joints.'

Natasha and Clint sat side by side, both dressed in their usual standard shield issued attire, smirking as they watched Stark interact with his creation; quickly becoming frustrated as Butterfingers jittered and jerked around.

'Stay still damn it, stop moving!'

'Maybe if you treated your machines with some respect Stark, they might actually listen to you once in a while.' Steve spoke up, giving the man a pointedly look as he placed a large stack of freshly made pancakes in the centre of the table, being careful not to dirty his clean white and blue checked shirt.

'Yeah? Well maybe if you shut up Captain Jackass and let me concentrate I coul- OW! God damn it Butterfingers!' the billionaire's jibe at Steve was cut short as he let out a cry of pain when the bot unexpectedly lurched forwards, running over the man's foot.

'Man of iron, your metal companion is most amusing!' Thor boomed, finishing a large mouthful of Pop-tart.

Stark growled moodily as he hopped around on one foot, clutching the other with one hand in an attempt to ease the throbbing.

'Go find Dummy and help him finish cleaning my desk, try not to break anything else ok?' he ordered sternly, picking up the scrubbing brush from the floor, he threw it at the bot, smirking childishly when it made contact and bounced.

'Go on shoo!' he exclaimed.

Butterfingers bleeped in understanding and disappeared around the corner as he exited the room.

'Jarvis keep an eye on him would ya? And watch Dummy too, you're officially on bot-sitting duty today,' he ordered, picking up the sharp remnants of a broken plate carefully and dumping them in the trash.

'Very well sir, it would be my pleasure,' the AI answered, 'Am I to assume that bad behaviour will result in a timeout?' Jarvis questioned sardonically.

'Oh haha, very funny Jarvis,' Stark grunted, retaking his seat he began sipping at a hot cup of coffee.

'Thank you sir, I try my best.'

The man was about to respond when he caught a glimpse of purple out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and spotted Bruce in the corner of the room.

'Brucey! Morning sunshine, was wondering when you'd show up' he grinned.

The rest of the team turned to see the Doctor standing a few feet away, looking very lost with a bewildered look on his face, and clearly trying to get his head around the disorder he'd just witnessed.

So much for having a quiet breakfast, Bruce thought glumly.

There was a chorus of greetings from the team; he nodded in acknowledgement before hesitantly making his way over to join them, taking the last empty seat next to Tony. He sat silently, vaguely observing the conversation around him.

'Friends, this breakfast feast is truly delightful!' the Asgardian bellowed happily, 'Alas I am full!'

'I'm not surprised; you've managed to finish eight boxes of pop tarts by yourself, that's quite an achievement,' Romanoff eyed his empty plate jadedly.

'Dude, you and Steve should totally have an eating contest,' Clint proclaimed with a humoured look on his face. 'I wanna see who barfs first.'

'Hey good idea! Waddya say cap, you in?' Tony agreed, grinning enthusiastically.

Steve frowned, clearly displeased with the suggestion.

'Absolutely no-'

'Friend Steve, I would be honoured if you would battle me in such a quest!' the demi god cried, his deep voice left Bruce's delicate ears ringing.

'Guys inside voices please…' he whimpered, clutching his head.

'My apologies friend Banner, it was not my intention to cause you such discomfort,' the blond apologised solemnly.

Bruce waved a hand dismissively.

Suddenly a hot cup of tea was placed in front of him; Bruce clutched the mug with both hands and took a small sip, sighing in content at the pleasant warmth.

'Thanks.'

He looked up to see the blond super solider standing in front of him.

'Hungry Dr Banner?' Steve inquired, 'there's plenty to go around,' he nodded toward to huge stack of pancakes on the counter, thoroughly drenched in butter and sweet sticky syrup.

The physicist felt nauseous staring at the plate of food, his stomach churned and he looked away; feeling very queasy. Suddenly his appetite was lost.

'No, thank you.'

He forced a small, polite smile before taking another sip of tea, grateful for the calming effect it had on his insides.

He picked up the days paper from the side, and pulled his glasses out of his top pocket, sliding them onto his nose and began flicking through the pages idly, trying to take his mind off the sickness he felt. Around him, everyone continued to eat, chatting amongst themselves as he scanned through random news articles.

He wasn't even two pages in when his concentration began to falter.

Every word on the page slowly began to blur, he rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away the tiredness but it had no effect. Try as he might, he just couldn't concentrate. He was pretty sure he'd read the same paragraph at least four times now but he couldn't recall a single word of it.

How exasperating.

He pushed the paper aside and folded up his glasses, rubbing at the sides of his head.

He needed a kick start, something to wake him up and get him moving again.

It was at times like this when he was feeling really drained that he craved a strong cup up of coffee. He envied those around him; it had been years since he'd touched the stuff. A large dose of caffeine would undoubtedly wake him up.

It was so tempting to give in a reach for a mug of the strong, brown substance, but he knew that he couldn't.

After all, caffeine and stimulants didn't bode well with his big, green alter ego. No matter how teasing the smell was, it wouldn't break his resolve.

But on days like this it was extremely testing.

'-isnt that right Bruce?'

It was only when he felt a light jab to the shoulder he realised he must have been staring into space.

'Bruce?'

The dark haired billionaire beside him waved a hand in front of his face, poking his shoulder with the end of a spoon.

'Brucey? Hello, earth to green bean are you receiving me?'

He looked up wearily and blinked a few times, squinting heavily; urging himself to focus on the engineer.

'Sorry did you say something?' he slurred, sleepily.

'Gee big guy, you really drifted off there,' Stark spoke around a mouthful toast. 'Were you out partying last night? Cause you look like you have one hell of a hang over.'

Banner smiled sheepishly.

'No, Your voice just makes me feel drowsy,' he joked lightly, forcing himself to finish the rest of his tea before it went cold.

Stark pouted childishly, holding a hand over his heart.

'Oh Bruce your words wound me,' he sniffed, 'I thought we were friends.'

'Who'd wanna be friends with an asshole like you?' Clint joked, smirking as he prodded a pancake with his fork.

'Shut up bird brain, or I'll stick that fork right up your- OW!' the billionaire yelped as Natasha's booted foot collided with his leg under the table.

She smiled innocently.

'Oops.'

'I swear if that leaves a bruise, I'm doubling your rent,' he huffed, rubbing his leg tenderly.

Steve raised a brow in confusion.

'But we don't pay rent…'

'Yeah well you will if Spidey here keeps bruising me.'

'What is this rent you speak of?' Thor asked, looking puzzled.

'It's – you know what? Never mind, just don't kick me again,' he glared, draining the contents of his mug he glanced at his lab partner thoughtfully. 'Hey maybe you should give Bruce a kick, it might wake him up a little,' he teased, mistaking the doctor's dishevelled appearance for standard, morning weariness.

'Hmmm?' the doctor looked up when he heard his name, clearly not following the conversation.

'We keeping you awake big guy?' Tony teased, eyeing the man's sleepy expression.

'Sorry...' he mumbled, letting out a yawn.

'You look beat doc' Clint affirmed, taking in the man's fatigued appearance.

'Yeah, did Steve drug your tea?' Tony joked, raising a brow at the Captain in mock suspicion; he nudged the physicist with his elbow. 'I bet old eye patch paid him to do it, I'm telling you Bruce it's the innocent ones you gotta watch out for.'

'I did no such thing!' Rogers spluttered, turning a light shade of pink.

'Speaking of Fury we should get going, you know he doesn't like to be kept waiting,' Romanoff spoke, pushing back her chair she raised to her feet and poked Clint sharply in the back of the neck.

The archer groaned unenthusiastically, ignoring the dirty look the redhead sent his way.

'Urghh do we have to?'

'My thoughts exactly! I say we don't go, all those in agreement raise your hand' Stark held up a hand, looking at the others expectedly. Everyone sent him a questioning looking, choosing not to copy his gesture; everyone accept Bruce who was still staring off into space.

'Really? No one, oh my god; Bruce wake up! You're supposed to be backing me up!' he whined, shaking the physicist playfully by the shoulder. The scientist didn't even look up, still clutching his head that felt like it might explode at any second, trying to ease away the horrible feeling of an oncoming headache.

'We are going Stark, whether you like it or not.' the female assassin glared at him long and hard.

'But mom I don't wanna go to school!' the mechanic moaned. Steve rolled his eyes at Starks familiar childish attitude.

'We're going Tony.' Steve stated firmly, rising to his feet.

'I say we stay here, then when he comes looking for us we turn the lights off and pretend we're not home.'

Steve grabbed Tony firmly by the arm, pulling him out of his chair.

'Hey watch it!'

'Come friend Stark! We must grace comrade Fury with our presence!' Thor bellowed eagerly.

'Nooooo!' the billionaire wailed, clutching the table tightly.

'Stop acting like a child,' Steve snapped, tugging harder.

Stark didn't move, keeping his grip firmly on the table.

'You'll never take me alive!' he declared.

Bruce frowned at Tony's antics, his head ached right down to the skull. He groaned as he reluctantly stood, not noticing the concerned look Thor sent his way as he wobbled slightly, quickly steadying himself on the corner of the table. Today was going to be testing, he could feel it.

Was one day of peace too much to ask for?

Thor opened his mouth as if to voice his concern, but was interrupted when Clint piped up loudly.

'Stark If you don't let go of the table, I'm calling Pepper,' the archer threatened.

'You wouldn't…'

'Wanna bet?' Barton challenged, stepping closer towards Stark, Steve was still tugging at his arm.

'You don't have her number' Stark smirked triumphantly, confused when Clint's grin widened.

'Jarvis? Call Miss Potts please.'

Tony's face paled.

'As you wish Agent Barton,' the AI responded.

'No! Jarvis don't do it!' the billionaire pleaded, a feeling of dread swept through him as he remembered the last angry call between them, he was sure Peppers shrieking had permanently damaged one of his ears. Her yelling left his ears ringing for weeks, it was horrible and he did not wish to repeat the experience.

'Calling Miss Potts,' Jarvis ignored his creator and suddenly a dialling tone sounded.

'No stop! I'll go; Jarvis hang up right now!' he spluttered, unpeeling his fingers from the table he jumped up.

'Call disconnected.'

'Traitor!' Stark barked, glaring at the back of Barton's head as he left the room, cackling to himself. Concern forgotten, Thor and the others followed suit; leaving Bruce and Tony lagging behind.

'Jarvis daddy's having big words with you later' he growled, moodily.

'As you wish sir.'

Stark glanced at Bruce and let out a heavy, aggravated sigh before walking up to him and patting him on the back. Bruce teetered slightly under the unexpected force but just managed to keep his footing, unfortunately Stark didn't seem to notice.

'Well come on big guy, let's get this crap over with, when we get back I got a feeling I'm gonna need a strong drink.'

Bruce groaned internally, slowly following his lab partner out of the room, dragging his feet heavily as he teetered on the edge of exhaustion. He hoped the meeting didn't last too long.

He wasn't sure how much longer he could stay awake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note**

Thank you so much for the positive feedback, it means a lot to me and it motivates me to write more. As a thank you here is the next chapter! : ) Enjoy.

**Shattered**

**Chapter 2**

Unfortunately to Bruce's disappointment, Nick Fury's debriefing was not as short as he'd hoped.

The team had been stuck in one of the Shield Heli-carriers crummy, cramped conference rooms for well over an hour and it didn't appear that the meeting would be ending anytime soon. Bruce was sat down in his seat at the far end of a long table, legs sprawled out in front of him with his back and neck hunched tightly; leaning his head back against the plastic and trying desperately not to fall into a deep sleep. Not that it was possible with all the noise and commotion around him.

The desk in front of the scientist was littered with various papers and Shield notes. He hadn't read them, it was impossible to concentrate. Raised voices and bickering echoed in the large room, unsurprisingly Tony's voice was the loudest as he jibed at Fury, pacing up and down the room; waving his arms around frantically as he spoke, no doubt rambling on and trying to explain something scientific about the previous battle. Of course Bruce had no idea what he was saying, his tiredness was catching up with him fast; his thoughts were sluggish, leaving his brain unable to process any information. It felt like everything going on around him was in slow motion.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths to try and rid himself of the nauseous feeling sweeping though him but it only seemed to make him feel worse. With his eyes closed every noise seemed twice as loud, as if his hearing had become heightened.

He could hear Clint to his left, tapping a pencil against the table in boredom; the sharp lead scratched against the scuffed wood leaving an irritating sound, like fingernails scratching a chalk board. The faint buzzing of the lights and low humming of the air con reached his ears. The never ending array of sounds was unpleasant and made him cringe inwardly.

He would give anything for just a minute of complete silence.

'So is this thing over yet? Cause there's a big bottle of scotch with my name on it back at the tower, and it's not gonna drink itself,' Tony babbled, glancing purposely at his expensive wrist watch wistfully.

'Sit your ass down Stark, this meeting is only over when I say so!' a deep voice snapped.

Fury's brash tone would have made him jump if he weren't used to it by now. Bruce opened his eyes to see Stark sighing dramatically and rolling his eyes before falling back into his chair, he propped his feet up on the desk casually and crossed his arms, glaring at the director moodily.

'Ughhh, Boring!' he whined.

'Show a little respect Stark,' Rogers scolded from his seat, sending the billionaire a disapproving look.

'My friends, let us not quarrel!' the blond demi god spoke up from his seat.

'Oh my god, these meetings are so tedious; it's painful,' he exhaled noisily, ignoring Steve's comment.

'Do you ever stop talking?' Romanoff sighed, frowning in annoyance.

'Guys…' Bruce spoke softly, unsuccessfully trying to catch everyone's attention; he leaned forward with his elbows on the desk, resting his head in one hand. He was too exhausted to argue. Tony misread his body language.

'See, you're sending poor Bruce to sleep!'

There were a few snorts of amusement from around the table as everyone caught a quick glimpse of Banners tired expression, mistaking it for boredom. Bruce wasn't amused. In fact he felt extremely agitated; surely at least one member of the team was observant enough to notice how drained he was.

'Yeah Doc, you look like you could use a pillow' the archer teased.

Bruce ran a hand through his hair in defeat.

If only he knew.

'I swear we are doing these things by video in the future, cause I don't have the time or the energy to –ow! What the hell?'

A pencil was launched through the air, the pointed tip bounced off Tony's forehead and landed on the floor; rolling under the table. A quiet laugh was audible from across the room.

'Oh ha-ha, very funny Feathers!'

Stark picked up the writing utensil and threw it back in the direction it came from, missing Clint completely, it hit the wall behind him; narrowly missing Bruce's head. It took all of the scientist's will not to snap.

'Need to work on your aim there tin can,' Barton smirked cockily.

The smirk was soon wiped off his face when Tony launched a heavy stapler at the archers head. Clint yelped and ducked under the desk, narrowly avoiding a hit.

'Asshole!'

'My friends, let me join you in your glorious battle!' Thor grinned, raising Mjolnir in his right hand.

'You're giving me a headache...' Banner mumbled as he buried his face into his hands.

Unsurprisingly no one acknowledged that he spoke, they probably couldn't hear him over the sound of their squabbling.

He groaned miserably as the dispute continued. It was so tempting to just get up and sneak out of the door.

Would anyone notice if he just left without saying a word?

Probably not, but the truth was the physicist didn't even have the energy to get up. It felt like he was glued to the chair he was sitting in. The ground felt like a giant magnet pulling at his feet, too strong to allow him to stand up.

With each passing second Bruce found himself becoming more frustrated and annoyed. Not that he was worried, he was almost completely certain that he wouldn't hulk out, he was too exhausted. But the chance was still always there, the thought was always lingering in the back of his mind.

What he needed was a break; he had the strong urge to run off some place quiet and just relax and have a little time to himself. Something a small part of him missed from his travels.

It was nice to have people surrounding him, to offer conversation and friendship. But sometimes it all got a little too much, especially when he was deprived of well needed sleep. Usually he found the witty banter and light hearted arguments amongst the team quite humorous, but today he didn't see the funny side at all.

Being sleep deprived wasn't funny.

And neither was being the butt of a joke.

'Enough!' Fury snapped. The chatter around him stopped instantly.

'There is another reason I called you all hear, and I'll tell you if you'll all shut up for a god damn minute!'

The scientist's ears perked up at the director's statement. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to like whatever he had to say. Everyone seemed to share the same thought, looking at the man expectedly, wondering what his next words would be.

'I need you all to suit up.'

And there it was, the icing on the cake.

'What! Are you serious? You're kidding right?' Stark spluttered, whingeing like a child.

'I am completely serious Stark,' Fury sent the billionaire a annoyed look as he took the last vacant seat at the head of the table and began going through some notes on a small screen in front of him.

'There is a little cleaning up that needs to be done from your last excursion, as I'm sure you all remember-'

Bruce wasn't even listening to the explanation they were being given. The rest of the team sat there taking in what was being said, but to Bruce the directors words were going straight over his head.

He'd had enough.

Suddenly he didn't just feel tired anymore, he felt angry and completely and utterly wrecked. His usual mask of calmness and understanding was wiped away. He couldn't take it anymore.

He couldn't sit there a moment longer.

He needed to get out.

'- Dr Banner we're going to need to utilise the hulk to ensure tha-'

'No.'

Everyone looked up at the sound of Bruce's quiet tone, so soft it was barely audible.

'Dr Banner I-'

'I'm not doing it.'

The scientist forced himself to sit up straighter in his chair and maintain eye contact with the director.

No one appeared to be surprised by his words. It wasn't the first time he'd voiced his refusal to use the Hulk. Even after the long, seemingly endless battle at New York when the Hulk had proven his worthiness to be a part of the team Bruce was still sometimes hesitant to unleash him, always worried about the possible collateral damage he could cause. His anxiety had subsided slightly after a few successful missions; his green alter ego had apparently followed Rogers's orders surprisingly well; so he allowed himself to join the team on a few occasions.

This time however he wouldn't do it.

Not because he was worried about the damage to the city or hurting innocent people. It didn't even have anything to do with the lack of control and feeling of helplessness he felt when he and the other guy switched places.

He wouldn't do it because simply he was completely worn out.

Maybe the team would see his actions as selfish, but he didn't care. He would be selfish just this once.

'Dr Banner I believe we've already discussed this,' Steve began hesitantly.

'Have we? I don't think we have' he snapped resignedly, swiftly losing his cool demeanour.

Sure they'd spoken about it on a few occasions, well-argued mostly; about how Bruce had to start letting the other guy come out and play once in a while. It was unsurprisingly mostly Tony's idea, however the rest of the team agreed to an extent. Annoyingly at other times the conversation was completely reversed, they all often speculated about Bruce's current temperament, concerned that one emotional slip up could cause an incident. Of course they disguised it through fake concern; it was completely obvious to Bruce that they were only pretending to care.

They rarely discussed anything about the Hulk in front of him, it was all done secretively and behind his back. The weary looks that were sent his way, the sudden change of conversation and even awkward silence at times when he entered a room was proof enough. Apparently he was a popular topic of conversation and he didn't like it one bit. Maybe he was just paranoid, but Bruce highly doubted it.

The only thing they cared about was using the Hulk when they needed him; they saw him as a valuable asset but also a dangerous one. He wished they'd make up their minds; he was fed up with being thrown back and forth like a worn tennis ball.

'Bruce, we understand tha-'Romanov was cut off when Bruce interrupted her.

'Understand? I don't think you understand anything!' he retorted.

The once relaxed atmosphere quickly became tense at the physicists sudden aggravated state. He was clutching the edge of the table tightly with both hands, the wood splintering slightly under the pressure of his fingertips. He couldn't repress the anger he felt at Romanovs words.

Quiet, well-mannered Bruce Banner suddenly lost his cool.

How could they possibly understand the physical and mental exhaustion he felt on a day to day basis? He wasn't just a little bit tired after he hulked out, he was deadbeat. Each time he transformed it knocked the stuffing out of him; it took days for him to recuperate before he felt even close to recovered again. He couldn't just take a quick nap like the rest of them to recharge his batteries.

It wasn't fair.

Tony's voice interrupted his internal thoughts.

'Hey Bruce buddy c'mon relax big guy' Tony voiced, trying to ease his lab partners sudden irritation.

Bruce laughed humourlessly.

'Relax? How can I relax when we're constantly playing this never ending game of wannabe superheroes!'

Stark looked taken back by his words and began studying the scientist with a concerned look. He locked eyes with him for a brief second, immersed slightly as he stared into a pair of hazel eyes and was taken back when he noticed something slightly odd.

Although Bruce was angry his eyes hadn't changed colour at all.

The longer he looked the more he realized Bruce wasn't his normal self. Well, as normal as a scientist who turns into a huge, green rage monster could be. His eyes were completely brown, with not a hint of green in sight. Bruce's eyes had been known to change colour with his emotions, even if he was the slightest bit angry his brown coloured irises would become flecked with hints of green. But as far as Stark could see there wasn't a hint of green in sight and he was intrigued.

What he did see though was more worrying. His eyes were glassy the emotion, not with rage but something else; but he couldn't figure out what.

'Dr Banner please, calm down or we will be forced to-'

'Forced to what? Tranquilise me? Lock me in a padded cell?'

'Doc please-'Clint stood and began approaching him slowly, holding his hands in front of him as if trying to tame a wild animal. Natasha's hand instinctively reached for her gun, though she didn't draw it, knowing full well it would only cause more alarm and distress in the current situation.

'Well what are you waiting for? Knock me out!' Banner snapped, pushing his chair back.

'Dr Banner, you need to sit down and relax,' Fury spoke slowly and calmly, one hand motioning to the seat in the corner for emphasis.

'Relax? How can I relax when you keep poking and prodding me all the time like some kind of circus animal!'

It was that moment when Stark suddenly realised what the something else was. Although the tone in the doctor's voice said otherwise, it wasn't anger or rage.

It was dejection.

Bruce pushed himself up from his seat, the combination of his rising blood pressure, overtiredness and low blood sugar levels caused a wave of dizziness throughout him, he blinked repeatedly as the room began to spin; his vision blurred once more. Rubbing his face with one hand he kept the other firmly grasped against the wood of the desk to help him keep his balance.

Everyone jumped to their feet, preparing themselves for what seemed like an inevitable Hulk out. They were surprised however when the doctor took a step back and let out a heavy sigh.

The room was now completely silent, the remaining Avengers and director looked at each other in bewilderment before Bruce broke the long pause.

'I'm not going to keep jumping through hoops and doing back flips for Shield every time you click your fingers,' he spoke sharply, glaring at Fury pointedly.

He took a deep breath before speaking again, trying to calm himself.

Bruce had finally reached his breaking point.

'I can't do this anymore.'

He turned on his heel and walked out of the room without uttering another word. He didn't hang around or even bother trying to explain himself, only dragging himself further and further down the corridor until he was out of sight; leaving the room in complete stillness. Only one thought crossed the mind of each avenger as the physicist walked away.

They'd messed up, big time.

Although Bruce felt like he would collapse at any moment he continued walking. Where was he headed? He had no idea. But one thing was certain, anywhere was better than Shield headquarters, surrounded by strangers that would only succeed in stressing him out even more then he already was. He wanted to be alone, somewhere quiet and peaceful where he could finally unwind; a place where he could be alone with just his thoughts, without interruption and finally collapse.

As he left the building, ignoring the odd looks passers-by sent his way, he trudged along like the walking dead, desperately trying to keep his thoughts clear; but he couldn't help but think about the anger and hurt that currently resided in him.

He wasn't sure what troubled him the most; the fact that no one seemed to notice his uneasy state of mind or that no one had tried to stop him from walking out of that room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author Note**

Thank you so much for the positive feedback, it means a lot to me and it motivates me to write more. As a thank you here is the next chapter! : ) Sorry for the wait, I'm finding it impossible to write during this heat wave, anyway; Enjoy.

HUGE thanks to my twin Morbid-Misanthropist for proof reading this for me, my punctuation is terrible and without her this would probably be unreadable.

**Shattered**

**Chapter 3**

When Bruce finally collapsed from exhaustion, it was on a park bench in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere. After the physicist left Shield headquarters he had no destination in mind, simply letting his feet carry him in a random direction and hope for the best. Somehow despite his lack of strength, he walked a considerable distance; he continued walking at a slow and steady pace, eager to find somewhere to relax in peaceful isolation.

Eventually he discovered a large open spaced park, collapsing onto the nearest bench without a moment's hesitation. Glancing around he found the place to be completely unfamiliar, he wasn't sure where he was, but he didn't care; if he didn't know where he was, the chances of anyone else finding him were very slim. He preferred it that way.

The park was surprisingly empty, with the exception of a few joggers and dog walkers, it was almost completely unoccupied. Bruce found it hard to believe that a place as secluded as this existed amongst the 'loud and crowded' chaos of New York.

In his current state, Bruce couldn't truly appreciate the true beauty that surrounded him. The colourful arrangement of flowers in his peripheral vision and the bright sunlight peeking through the trees was a deadly combination, only succeeding in making his headache much more severe. He tried to admire the large water feature a short distance away from him but his eyes were unfocused and his vision continued to blur.

The doctor clasped his head in his hands and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in an attempt to rid himself of the unbearable pounding in his head. It felt like someone was hacking away at his skull with a dull blade, a sensation which he was unfortunately familiar with, no doubt caused by his last transformation and neglecting sleep for so long, something which he hoped to correct as soon as possible.

After a few deep breaths his light-headedness began to ease slightly, but he still felt weak and nauseous, trying to focus on his other senses to block out the unpleasant feeling. As much as he wanted to sleep, - he just couldn't, there was too much going on in his head. Continuing with his breathing techniques, Bruce eventually began to relax significantly, allowing his mind to wander.

Gradually the pain began to dull until eventually it felt almost non-existent; the discomfort was replaced with a sense of calm and contemplation. The first thing Bruce became aware of as he relaxed was the chirping of birds. Even in his current exhausted state he found the cheerful melody to be pleasant and uplifting. He could hear the faint buzzing of bees as they pollenated the flowers and the dripping and trickling of water, from the water feature ahead. The fragrant smell of flowers tickled his nose and there was a comfortable warmth radiating from the heat of the afternoon sun along with the tepid, humid breeze in the air that tussled his short brown curly hair, the atmosphere provided a sense of contentment that helped the doctor unwind and calm his thoughts.

As he focused on the sounds and movement surrounding him Bruce began to fall into a trance like state, something he'd become accustomed to during many meditation sessions over the years. Whenever he felt stressed or in need of an escape, he would simply just close his eyes and block out the rest of the world. It came so easy to him, just like flicking a switch; he could escape whenever he wanted to, even if it was just for a short period of time.

The more Bruce began to calm the more his mind drifted, eventually his thoughts brought him back to the event that occurred in one of Shields meeting rooms only moments earlier. The anger he felt had subsided but the feeling of frustration and resentment still lingered like a fading bruise, it would disappear in time but it was still there and it troubled him.

Who knew being part of the Avengers could be so stressful?

He remembered when Natasha had first approached him in India many months ago, claiming that Shield only needed him for his scientific knowledge on gamma radiation and nothing else. Hulk was a danger and it was made clear that he shouldn't be unleashed under _any_ circumstances. As time went on Shields attitude changed, and bizarrely Hulk was no longer seen as a taboo of conversation and had somehow been incorporated into the activities of the Avengers, a truly peculiar turn of events.

How had that happened?

Most curiously of all, how had the scientist let it happen?

He'd just kept his head down and followed everyone else like a mindless machine, obeying orders with no arguments or questions asked. If the doctor had known that the Avengers would be a permanent thing when he stepped onto the Heli-carrier for the first time, he wondered if he would have gone so willingly. The doctor had spent a majority of his life alone, running and hiding in the shadows, desperately suppressing the anger inside of him. The birth of the Hulk made him feel like a complete failure and a lost cause - nothing could rid him of that feeling.

Although nothing could outweigh the constant feeling of unease, the scientist felt a small feeling of pride every time the Avengers completed a successful mission, however every time it was overshadowed with guilt and the knowledge that the Hulk had taken so many innocent lives in the past. No matter how many people he saved, Bruce would never forget the consequences of the failed experiment all those years ago. Hulk had saved the city of New York from complete destruction, but Bruce felt like he hadn't helped at all.

He felt useless.

Hulk did all the work and heroics and Bruce was only left with the aftermath of pain and misery that the transformation left behind. Every bone and muscle ached beyond belief and the team just brushed it off like it was insignificant, it irritated him to no end. They didn't realise how miserable it made him feel. He didn't have any visible wounds like the rest of them, but it didn't mean he'd escaped unharmed.

Sometimes the worst wounds are the ones you can't see.

He couldn't help but think that maybe he deserved it.

That was his price for unleashing a monster into the world; he would forever live a pitiful existence of desolation and solitude. As much as he believed he deserved this fate, a small part of him believed otherwise. He was a doctor and it was his job to try and help others as best as he could, to try and make up for all the things he'd done wrong; but, deep down he knew that whatever he did, it would never be enough, for him or anyone else.

He could never wipe the slate clean; it would always be tinged and stained with the past. He would never forgive himself for his failures.

However, there was one man that believed he deserved a second chance.

A man who approached him without a hint of fear or hesitation, someone who made him feel slightly human again and treated him as an equal.

He wished there were more people in his life like _him_.

Bruce was interrupted from his thoughts when his nose suddenly began to twitch. A sweet aroma aroused his sinuses making him furrow his brows in confusion. It smelled sugary and appealing; there was a detectable hint of something syrupy, a strange cross between strawberry and…

Bubble-gum?

What was that smell?

Bruce lifted his head from his hands and opened his eyes, as his vision began to focus he couldn't help but squint in confusion at the peculiar article in front of his face.

It was an ice cream.

An ice cream cone was being held right under his nose, the creamy substance drenched in thick red sauce and sprinkles, a small flake pocking out of the corner.

'Well, you gonna eat it or what? Geez Bruce, I know you're a hermit but don't tell me you've never seen an ice cream before.'

Bruce looked up as he heard the familiar sounding cocky tone to see the man that had been the subject of his thoughts just moments earlier. Standing in front of him holding an ice cream cone in each hand was none other than Tony Stark.

The physicist looked up and observed the well-dressed billionaire, who was wearing the same grey pinstripe suit from the meeting earlier, the only difference was that he was now sporting an expensive looking pair of dark sunglasses; he always succeeded in making Banner feel underdressed.

Somehow despite how terrible he was feeling, the unusual sight of Tony Stark holding a dripping ice cone in each hand made him smile - the man never ceased to amuse him with his unpredictable behaviour. He should have known Tony would be the one to find him eventually. The genius's presence and smug smile suddenly made him feel more at ease and he relaxed slightly. He stared at the man in complete bewilderment.

Stark sighed, thrusting a cone closer to the doctor's face.

'C'mon big guy, eat it before it melts!'

Brue continued eyeing his teammate in uncertainty as he stared at the unusual peace offering. There was a small pause before he graced him with an answer.

'…. Are you serious?' he asked languidly; sitting up slightly, he eyed the sugary dessert with apprehension.

'Brucey, serious is my middle name,' Stark stated matter of factly.

Bruce snorted.

'Oh really?' he rasped, his throat feeling scratchy and sore; his head ached and he felt light headed, he was undoubtedly dehydrated. He couldn't remember when he last had something to drink - his mind was all over the place.

'Yeah, really. What, you don't believe me? C'mon just eat it, I can't eat two anyway I'm on a die- ewww, gross!' Stark shrieked, as one of the cones began dripping all over his hand. 'Take it, take it!' he squealed, thrusting a cone into Banners hands as if it were a ticking bomb.

With a sigh, Tony took the empty seat next to Bruce and scowled as he shook his empty hand out in front of him, wiping it on the arm of the bench.

'Oh my god this shit is so sticky, you better appreciate this buddy,' he teased, elbowing Bruce in the side playfully.

Banner looked down at the offending food in his hand and smiled inwardly.

The sprinkles were green.

How original.

'I feel like I'm dying and you bring me ice cream instead of an aspirin?' he questioned, taking a small lick from the cone. He wasn't hungry at all, but he hoped the sugar would do him some good and ease the dizziness he felt.

Tony pulled his shades from his face and rested them on top of his head of messy dark hair, brown eyes twinkling in amusement as he patted the scientist on the back.

'You don't have to thank me,' he grinned, winking teasingly at the doctor.

'Good because I wasn't going to,' he chuckled, smiling tiredly.

Only Tony Stark could make him smile when he felt this dreadful. The man was like a windup monkey - he never stopped. Bruce found his eccentric personality and witty jokes uplifting and appreciated them even more at times like this when he was feeling low.

'You like the sprinkles?' Stark asked. 'I paid extra for that you know,' he beamed, taking a large mouthful of ice cream. The grin was soon erased from his face however when a sharp pain in his temples caused him to wince.

'Ahhh fuck, Brain freeze!' he whined childishly, stomping his feet on the floor.

Bruce smiled in amusement, temporarily forgetting about his depressed feelings. Tony's sudden presence was welcoming; he was like a breath of fresh air. Bruce would never understand why some people found the billionaire to be arrogant and unbearable, personally he found him to be quite the opposite.

'Damn karmas a bitch,' Stark grumbled, rubbing his forehead vigorously with the tips of his fingers.

'I'm curious, how did you find me?' the introverted doctor questioned.

'I'm Tony Stark,' he answered boastfully, as if the answer were completely obvious.

'Did you plant a chip in my jacket?' Bruce eyed the man suspiciously, ignoring his statement.

'In your brain actually...'

'You chipped my jacket didn't you?' Bruce exhaled in frustration; he should have known Tony would create some way to track him down. His curiosity always got the better of him.

'Oh my god is that a unicorn over there? I think it is!' Stark gasped, pointing into the distance; trying to quickly change the subject.

Tony's energetic, boisterous behaviour caused a few passers-by to glance in the pair's direction, their curious gazes and whispers made Bruce feel on edge.

'Wont people recognise you?' the physicist asked wearily, nibbling nervously at the dry wafer in his hands.

'Of course they will, who wouldn't recognise this fantastic piece of ass,' he mumbled, finishing his last mouthful of food.

Tony glanced at the doctor, immediately noticing his uncomfortable looking posture and body language. His shoulders were stiff and he was hunched forward slightly, glancing around at onlookers anxiously. He vaguely remembered Bruce once mentioning how crowds made him nervous.

Right now he probably felt exposed and vulnerable.

He would have to fix that.

Stark slug his arm over Bruce's shoulders in a friendly gesture.

'Relax green bean, I'll keep you safe from the paparazzi; if they come too close, I'll dazzle them with one of my charming smiles.'

Bruce sighed and rolled his eyes, feeling a little less tense.

'You're invading the bubble,' he joked, glancing at Tony's arm that was still draped around his shoulders. His touch was light but in Bruce's fatigued state it felt heavy, weighing him down like a rock. It was uncomfortable but he didn't have the energy to shrug it off.

'Bubble, what Bubble? I don't see one.'

'Tony…'

'Bruce, I'm hurt, I thought we had something special going on here,' Tony pouted. Retracting his arm, he rested it on the back of the bench and began drumming at the wood with his fingertips absentmindedly.

'What would Pepper say if she saw you in the arms of another man?' the doctor asked. Loosening up, he leaned back against the bench, folding his arms in an attempt to straighten his posture; he was already in enough pain without adding a bad back to the list.

'Please, Pepper is so old news; physicists are totally in this season,' Stark smiled devilishly. 'Besides, scientists are much more fun to play with,' he purred, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

'You're unbelievable.' Bruce shook his head, unsuccessfully trying to hide the small smile gracing his lips. He regretted the action instantly as the motion made his head spin; he closed his eyes momentarily to stop the dizziness, Stark seeming completely oblivious.

'C'mon just admit it, you're totally in love with me,' the billionaire beamed before scooting across the bench and sitting closer to the doctor, until he was leaning against him.

'I can see the headlines now - 'Tony Stark takes romantic stroll with strange mystery man!'' he rambled loudly, waving his arms out in from of him for emphasis.

'Strange?' Bruce looked up and opened his eyes, raising a brow at the man's choice of words.

'Did I say strange? I meant sexy.'

'You're insane,' he grumbled, running his fingers through his unkempt brown, greying, curly locks.

'Thank you!' Tony winked, grinning devilishly.

His grin faded and he let out a deep sigh, sitting back against the bench he rested his hands behind his head, crossing one leg over his knee. After a short moment of silence, he removed his shades from the top of his head and put them on, turning his head to the side and sending Banner a sharp look from behind the shadowed lenses.

'You made quite an exit you know.'

Bruce didn't answer for a while and instead chose to stare at the ducks paddling in the water feature.

'I'm not so sure,' he spoke softly, his gaze never leaving the birds that were circling in the water. 'I'm sure there are more dramatic ways to leave a room.'

'Really? 'cause that was pretty impressive. I swear Capiscle nearly crapped his spangley pants. It would be pretty hard to beat it…'

'Maybe I should try jumping out the window next time,' Bruce joked.

Stark didn't answer for a second; he stayed unusually silent, looking up at the clouds above.

Tony didn't find his joke to be humorous.

In fact it worried him slightly.

'What are you doing here Bruce?'

'I could ask you the same question.'

The doctor heaved a sigh as he slumped back against the hard wood of the bench, lacking the energy to argue.

'Shouldn't you be on a new assignment or something?' he murmured, looking discontent.

'I'm not going away Bruce,' Stark answered sternly, crossing his arms.

'Really? I didn't notice...' he answered sarcastically, irritation evident in his tone.

'You know you can tell me anything, genius to genius and all…'

Bruce chose not to respond, he wasn't in the mood to answer Tony's prying questions just yet.

All he wanted to do was sleep.

'What's wrong big guy?'

The doctor remained silent at Tony's attempt to get him to open up. So the playboy decided to try a different approach.

'You know, I think they're all worried about you.'

_Worried?_

Bruce snorted in disbelief.

'Oh really, Is that why they sent you to come find me instead of coming themselves?' Banner answered, barely supressing a yawn, he saw straight through Tony's bluff.

It was hardly surprising that Tony had been the one to find him. After all, out of the small group of Avengers he was the only one who actively made an effort to talk to Bruce, one of the few people that didn't tiptoe around him like he was a dangerous animal. Stark was also the only person he felt considerably comfortable around.

Even Tony sometimes pushed his limits.

'What, were you expecting someone else? Sorry, I'll send out a hot girl next time if that's what you want…'

Banner growled in mild irritation. He was starting feel extremely lightheaded, it made him grouchy, irritable and short fused.

'No one cares Tony,' Bruce sighed heavily. 'The only thing that they all care about is getting the job done.'

'Hey, I care!'

'Really? Oh how thoughtful of you.'

'I think they were a little concerned-'

'Oh yeah they were just full of concern, Romanoff was so concerned that she nearly blew my head off,' he blurted, cutting Tony off, 'and how about Clint huh? You think that arrow he was going to put through my head was a sign of good will?'

'You're stressed right? Is that what this is? I know the perfect massage parlour-'

'Stop it!' Bruce pleaded as Stark continued to ramble, a small part of him wishing that he had been shot with a sedative earlier on in the day; at least he could rest relatively peacefully if he was unconscious.

'Not a massage kind of guy? That's cool. I mean, if you wanna let off a little steam, I built the perfect room for you to go wild in. I'm telling you, its shatter proof- you could go crazy in there for hours! Hey, are you ok? You're looking a little green there buddy.'

Bruce didn't doubt it; he was starting to feel extremely rough, it was no wonder he looked it too.

'Can you stop talking for just five minutes?' he snapped, clenching his hands into fists as small tremors of lethargy began wracking through his entire body. He tensed his muscles to try and ease the shaking but it had little effect; although his eyes were closed and his feet were firmly on the ground, the doctor felt like he was falling.

Tony was about to retort when noticed the shaking in Bruce's hands out of the corner of his eyes. He mistook the action for stress; leaning back he distanced himself to give the older man some space.

'Woah- easy there big guy! Don't go green on me- deep breaths! Think of your happy place!'

Happy place? What a joke. Such a place didn't exist in Bruce's mind.

'I don't think-' Bruce paused and took a well needed deep breath to refill his lungs with precious air, his chest felt tight and heavy, he could barely get his words out.

'I don't think I could hulk out even if I tried,' he wheezed, placing a hand over his eyes to try and shield them from the bright day light that penetrated through his eyelids.

'Whaddya mean?' Stark slid his shades down his nose, sending Banner a curious look as he gazed at him over the top of the dark tinted lenses.

'You're the genius, you figure it out' he mumbled. Opening his eyes, he glared at the billionaire for a short moment before turning away, beginning to watch a small bird that had landed in front of them, ruffling its feathers and scratching vigorously at the dirt.

Stark sat beside him, he was unusually silent as he studied his lab partner.

It was only now that he'd removed his tinted shades that he saw just how wrecked the physicist looked these days. The bright daylight illuminated Banners face, making every minor detail visible. The dark smudges beneath Bruce's eyes and the evident exhaustion in his face made him look at least twice his age.

The longer he observed, the more Tony noticed just how different Bruce was looking compared to his normal self.

The scientist had never been podgey, he was slim and slender, a figure no doubt obtained from his vegetarian diet and many years of travelling poor countries. Stark often teased him about his petite physique; he was sure that most women were jealous of his lean frame- Not anymore.

Now, he looked skinny in an unhealthy sort of way. His cheek bones were much more visible than they once were, and his collar bone jutted out from beneath his loose fitting purple shirt, which made his skin appear an unhealthy pale shade.

He looked completely drained.

If he didn't eat soon, he'd resemble a walking skeleton.

It made the billionaire wonder, when was the last time Bruce ate properly?

Now he thought about it, Banner hadn't touched an ounce of food at breakfast; he'd merely sat quietly at the table, sipping on a steaming mug of tea, silently blending into the walls as he often did. Perhaps that's why he hadn't noticed the man's change in appearance. The doctor was so quiet and reserved that Tony sometimes forgot he was in the room.

Now, Stark was starting to feel guilty.

How could he have not noticed the man's dishevelled state?

Sitting there on the park bench, slouched forward uncomfortably and staring into space, Banner looked deceivingly frail. His eyes were half closed but Stark could see the tired, weariness within them. They were the eyes of someone who'd had enough, who was just about ready to surrender.

Right now Bruce looked vulnerable, and to Tony; that was a worrying thought. After all, Bruce was also the hulk; he was strong and powerful, the complete opposite of how he looked now. What had led to this change in his demeanour?

_'I can't do this anymore.'_

The gloomy look on his face was all it took for Stark to figure it out.

_'Relax? How can I relax when you keep poking and prodding me all the time like some kind of circus animal?'_

He began putting the pieces together in his mind, like a jigsaw puzzle.

'_I don't think I could hulk out even if I tried.'_

How could he have been so oblivious?

Although many people assumed that Tony was selfish and heartless, he had feelings just like any other human being, and right now, he felt unbelievably guilt-ridden. Bruce was one of the few people he genuinely enjoyed spending time with, and he was one of the few people who could keep up with him intellectually and take his jokes and jabs in stride.

Banner wasn't a very trusting person, that much was obvious. He'd spent his whole life running and he found it difficult being in close proximity with people, which is why Tony took pleasure in the fact he'd accepted his company so easily.

Now Tony felt horrible as he took in the man's broken appearance.

It had never occurred to Tony that Bruce transforming on a regular basis would have such an impact on his wellbeing.

'I'm sorry.'

Stark was snapped out of his deeps thoughts when he heard the soft sound of Bruce's wearied voice in his ear.

'What?'

'I'm sorry I snapped at you,' the scientist sighed, blinking drowsily. 'I'm just-'

'Tired?' Stark finished, his brows elevated. 'Why didn't you say something Bruce?'

Bruce stared ahead blankly and began wringing his hands nervously, as he often did when he felt anxious and edgy. He hesitated for a moment before gracing the engineer with an answer.

'Because no one understands,' he answered honestly, fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. 'When the fights over, you all go home and take off your suit's- I can't do that. I wake up, and everything hurts. I'm surrounded by noise, chaos, and the worst thing is, I don't remember any of it.'

A cool breeze sent a chill through Tony's body, making him shiver. The sky had begun to cloud over with grey, ominous looking storm clouds that held the promise of rain.

'I just – I don't think I can cope anymore.'

He couldn't help but remember Bruce's pained words on the Helicarrier all those months ago, they made his chest tighten horribly.

'_I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out!'_

'I'm not some kind of superhero; I can't keep pretending to be one-'

'Do you trust me?'

Bruce looked up at the philanthropist in confusion.

'What?'

'Do you trust me Bruce Banner?' Stark looked the doctor right in the eyes as he posed the question, not braking his gaze for a single moment.

Bruce knew what his answer was even before he put it into words. As he gazed intently into Tony's dark brown eyes, glinting in both intelligence and curiosity he felt an odd sensation deep inside him. Something he'd never felt around anyone before.

Hope.

Tony rose from his seat beside him and stood directly in front of him with both hands in his trouser pockets, waiting for an answer patiently.

'I trust you,' Bruce replied softly, his voice breaking, the words almost sticking in his dry throat.

The engineer smiled.

The physicist felt a small droplet of water land on his skin; he wrinkled his nose at it trickled down the side of his face. Only when he looked up did he notice the sun had disappeared and it was beginning to rain.

'C'mon Buddy, let's go home.'

'I would but I uh - don't think I can move.'

'Well it's a good thing that I'm here then, isn't it?' Stark extended a hand to the man, which was gratefully accepted.

Tony hauled the scientist to his feet, and Bruce pitched forward slightly as he was brought to a standing position, wobbling dangerously on his legs like a new-born foal. Stark brought Bruce's arm around his shoulder to steady him, concerned about just how much he was leaning on him.

'Woah, easy there grandpa! Don't wanna be scraping you off the floor now do we?' Stark joked lightly, disguising his concern. 'Want a piggy back?'

'I would rather drown myself in a puddle' Bruce replied unenthusiastically, scuffing his feet along the pavement.

'I love it when you play hard to get,' the engineer smirked teasingly, scowling as the light rain began to get heavier.

Bruce groaned pitifully as his head began to spin, his whole body felt numb.

'Not far now…. I swear Happy parked over here somewhere- aha! There it is! Cmon, Race ya!'

'.. Tony?'

'Yes dear?'

'Shut up.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Note**

I cannot thank you all enough for the positive feedback, I've planned out two more chapters after this one until I end this fic. I don't want to make it too long but do any of you think that would be cutting it too short? Let me know. Sorry for the wait, anyway here is the next chapter, Enjoy the feels overload...

**Shattered**

**Chapter 4**

The ride back to the Avenger's tower was both short and uneventful.

The moment they'd spotted Happy Hogan from across the park the pair slowly wandered towards him and stepped into one of Tony's many expensive extravagant sports cars where Bruce immediately sprawled out across the backseat wearily; closing his eyes as he rested his head against the window. It only felt like he'd had his eyes shut for a brief second when he felt the car shudder to a halt. Reluctantly he rose from his seat and without a word Tony was beside him, offering him a hand to steady him.

'Need some help boss?' Happy asked as he opened the passenger door for them both.

'No we're good, take the rest of the day off would ya Hap? I'll see ya around.'

Happy nodded in acknowledgement and left the garage swiftly without another word. The two geniuses were now alone.

Stark took one of the doctor's arms over his shoulders to help the man secure his balance and the pair sluggishly headed for the elevator on the far side of the room; Tony grunted and held back a wince as he took the brunt of the man's weight across his shoulders, Bruce felt surprisingly heavy for such a slim man.

'Whoa Geez Bruce, you're kinda heavy for a guy who lives on tea and rabbit food,' he smirked, joking lightly to ease the tension as they staggered across the room, 'maybe you should go for a run or something when you're feeling better.'

The scientist said nothing; he sent a weak glare at his teammate which only made the genius smile more. It was apparent that Bruce was too tired to come up with any kind of retort at the present moment, but Tony was sure that he'd undoubtedly make up for it later.

Banner couldn't help but groan in annoyance as their movement caused bright motion activated lights to turn on and illuminate the path in front of them. Bright light was the last thing he needed right now and only added more discomfort to the unbearable pounding in his head. Bruce closed his eyes and leaned his head inwardly towards the crook of Starks neck to shield his vision.

'Jarvis dim the lights would ya buddy?' the billionaire address his AI, the lights dimmed almost immediately and Bruce sighed with relief. Eventually they reached the elevator and stepped inside the small space, the doors clicked shut behind them and they both breathed a sigh of relief as they leaned against the metal walls.

'Which floor do you require sir?'

The sound of Jarvis's voice caused Bruce to flinch, he wasn't startled but in his current state every noise sounded louder than usual, it was a great annoyance that caused him no end of displeasure.

'Take us up to my apartment, and tone it down a bit would ya Jarv? You're giving poor Brucey here a headache.'

'My apologies Doctor, it was not my intention to cause you any distress,' the AI answered, this time in a more suitably quieter tone.

'S'fine,' the physicist muttered, rubbing his temples.

The elevator whirred to life and they reached Starks apartment within a matter of seconds. As they exited the small space, the first thing that struck the scientist was the unusual silence in the room; there was no one in sight. He had expected to be pounced on by everyone waiting for him in anticipation, instead he was greeted by a wall of silence; something which he was very grateful for.

Tony was trying his best not to worry about how heavily his lab partner was currently leaning on him; by now the man's feet were just about holding him up, every step made his legs quiver with exhaustion and by now he could barely stand up; his feet were dragging along the ground clumsily and his whole body was shaking with exertion.

'Almost there big guy,' the genius reassured him.

He pulled Bruce over to the large black leather couch in the centre of the room and eased him down gently, the physicist cringed inwardly as his body sank comfortably into the seat; he felt like such a burden.

'Better?'

'Uh, yeah thanks' he sighed, leaning back against the smooth leather.

'Jarvis initiate a lockdown, don't tell anyone that we-'

'Doctor Banner!' Starks words were cut short as four figures dashed into the room, the rest of the team suddenly appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

'Oh boy' Tony sighed as they began talking loudly, he rubbed his forehead in misery, this was the last thing Bruce needed right now. Tony poured himself a large drink as he watched the scene in front of him.

'Jarvis explain yourself,' the billionaire muttered as he took a large swig from his glass.

'My apologies sir, It would appear that agent Barton witnessed your arrival from the roof, and informed the others before I could initiate a successful lockdown,' the AI responded submissively.

Thor, Steve, Natasha and Clint all crowded around the scientist and began talking all at once. All of them seemed completely oblivious to the fact Bruce had scooted backwards, as far as the back of the sofa would allow him and he had begun wringing his hands nervously; he looked extremely uncomfortable.

'Geez Doc you had us all freaked out,' Clint spoke loudly, 'we didn't know if we were expecting you or the other guy!'

'Clint!' Natasha scolded him for bringing up such a 'taboo' subject, the archer waved off her concern.

'What? I'm just saying-'

Right now Bruce wasn't even listening to the conversation going on around him. He could hear raised voices but he was too tired to concentrate, the voices in his ears had faded out to nothing more than irritating murmurs; he wished they would stop.

'Doctor Banner it is good to see you!' Thor bellowed, 'We were all most anxious for your return!'

Bruce winced at the man's loud tone, he couldn't help but let out a quiet whimper, it felt as if Thor's voice was echoing painfully in his skull, it felt as if hundreds of razor sharps needles were burying themselves into his cranium, the sensation was extremely unbearable.

'… not so loud please, 'the physicist rasped weakly as he held his hammering head in his hands, his voice was so soft it could barely be heard, but it was just loud enough for Tony to hear.

The billionaire strolled over towards the sofa the team were congregated around; he'd had enough of watching Bruce suffer in silence.

'Alright break it up! Give the guy some space would ya? Let him breath!' Tony clapped his hands, shooing at the team, successfully silencing all conversation. Tentatively they withdrew and took a few steps back, giving the doctor some well needed space.

'Are you ok Doctor Banner?' Steve asked hesitantly.

'Of course he's not ok look at him!' Stark huffed, waving his arms.

The avengers stood quietly as they observed there teammate, Bruce was sat completely still, resting his head in his hands with his eyes closed. The light frown on his face clearly showed he was in some discomfort; the team glanced at the doctor before staring at each other owlishly and undecidedly.

'Well what are you waiting for? Go do something useful like get the man a glass of water!' Tony huffed in annoyance, he was sure Bruce didn't appreciate being watched like some sort of animal in an exhibit.

'On it,' Steve was the first to snap out of a daze; he nodded in confirmation and strolled quickly out of the room.

The two assassins' and the demi god stood awkwardly for a moment before taking a seat either side of the man, the three of them hesitated before taking separate armchairs on the far side of the room. Without any thought Tony took the empty spot next to Bruce and rested a hand on his friends arm in concern.

'You okay buddy?'

Bruce looked up and rubbed his eyes before focusing on his friend.

'I've been better…' the scientist mumbled weakly, leaning his head against the corner of the sofa tiredly.

Now that he was at such a close proximity to his lab partner Tony noticed how alarmingly pale Bruce was, it seemed he had grown much paler in colour then when they both left the park, worryingly he was now as white as a ghost. He definitely needed some sleep soon, the only obstacles standing between Bruce and sleep were the rest of the team.

Steve returned with a tall glass of water, the super soldier held it out to Bruce and waited patiently for him to take it from his hand. The doctor smiled weakly in silent thanks before gasping the cup with one hand, no one in the room failed to notice that his hand was shaking slightly. He took a small sip of water before resting the glass in his lap; Banner closed his eyes in irritation and furrowed his brows as his head thumped painfully; Steve frowned in concern.

'Would you like me to get some painkillers Doctor Banner?' the blond asked tentatively.

'There's no point' Bruce sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, he took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly; he counted to ten in his head before answering, trying to ease the anxiety and nausea building up inside of him, boy he felt terrible.

'That stuff won't work on me.'

There was a short pause before Clint broke the silence.

'Why not?' the archer tilted his head in confusion.

'My uh, metabolism's similar to Steve's,' Bruce spoke slowly and clearly, trying his best to not slur his words. 'It's a side effect from the gamma radiation; anything I take will just get burned off instantly.'

Steve nodded in understanding, he could sympathise with the man's current predicament.

'You're sure there's nothing we can do?' Romanoff asked, Bruce shook his head slowly.

'I'll just have to wait it out.'

There was an awkward pause as Bruce reached for another drink. Everyone was still, the only audible sound that could be heard was the physicists laboured breathing and Tony drumming his fingers on the side of his glass. Everyone's gaze turned to Tony's fingers before glancing at Bruce In apprehension. Bruce didn't even have to look up to know everyone was staring at him, waiting for him to explode in anger like he had earlier. He could guess pretty confidently that they all had the same look in their eyes.

The same look of fear.

It was something he was used to by now, the wariness and distrust. He sat still and leaned back in his seat, silently praying that the ground would swallow him up and save him from this awkward situation.

It was just like the scene in the Heli-carrier hours earlier, they were all waiting for him to snap. They had questions but no one had the guts to step forward and be the first to speak.

Tony also sensed the tension in the air and it made him feel sick.

Sick with anger.

Everyone was looking at Bruce like he was some sort of time bomb and Tony just couldn't understand why. Sure he had an angry side, buried just below the surface that could cause chaos at any given moment but the billionaire was confident that the scientist had a tight lid on it. Everyone had an angry side; Bruce's was just more prominent than others. So why did everyone pay so much attention to it?

The playboy found it hard to believe that they were all so nervous around Bruce Banner, a quiet scientist whose patience was on par with that of a saint. Tony was sure that in his previous life he must have been a monk of some kind; after all it was a miracle that he stayed so calm even after the way others treated him. He was treated with fear and disrespect yet the man ignored it, Bruce had offered everything he had to give yet people still walked all over him.

Despite the looks from the rest of the team Bruce stayed quiet just as he always did. He found the muteness on his friend's part completely bizarre. It was Interesting how much more talkative Bruce was around the playboy than around other people. It was obvious Bruce felt comfortable around him and his playful personality, but now he was in a room with other people who treated him far differently he was more reserved, he'd shut himself in, similar to a tortoise slipping into its shell. It pained him to see Bruce sitting next to him looking so worn and miserable.

Bruce had hit a dead end, he was suffering yet no one seemed to care; the only thing the team cared about was their own safety.

Tony found the silence annoying and unnecessary so he decided to do something about it.

In the split second that everyone tore there gaze away from the doctor the mechanic slammed his glass down hard on the table, making everyone jump at the loud noise. Thor grasped Mjolnir tightly, Natasha's hand gravitated toward the pistol she had concealed on the side of her left leg and Clint and Steve jerked upright, twitching with nerves. They were both surprised and confused to see that Bruce hadn't moved a muscle; he'd only blinked his eyes open wearily, also confused by the sudden noise. Everyone turned and looked up at the billionaire in bewilderment.

'Little jumpy aren't we?' he tutted, crossing his arms.

Bruce could feel his insides knotting with tension at the man's words, he had a sinking feeling that he knew what the next topic of conversation was going to be.

'That's not funny stark,' Romanoff hissed angrily.

Tony leaned his head back and laughed heartily.

'Isn't it though?'

'Listen Stark, I don't know what you're trying to pull here but now isn't the time,' Steve frowned disapprovingly.

'What I'm trying to pull? What about what you guys are trying to pull?!' Tony spat angrily.

'Tony…' Bruce murmured, his voice was so quiet that no one heard him, everyone around him carried on bickering.

'What are you talking about?' Clint growled defensively, standing to his feet.

'I think you know exactly what I'm talking about,' the mechanic pushed himself from his seat and stepped forward to meet Clint's gaze.

'Seriously what the fuck is your problem?' Clint swore, gritting his teeth; Tony took a step forward threateningly.

'Clint,' Natasha rested a hand on the archers shoulder, holding him back.

'Friend Stark,' Thor bellowed, 'I do not think it wise to argue so freely when friend Bruce is-'

'When Bruce is what?!' Tony snapped angrily, 'What the fuck is wrong with Bruce huh?'

'Tony you need to calm down,' Steve hissed, his eyes strayed to Bruce who had his eyes closed with his head in his hands. The playboy picked up on his gaze immediately.

'Why?'

'Tony you know why!'

'C'mon say it!'

'Stop it, please…' Bruce whispered, his plea went unanswered as the argument escalated. The doctor whined clutched his head with his hands, he felt so helpless. He was too tired to do anything; all he could do was sit there with his head in his hands, taking slow, deep breaths to calm himself and prevent him from exploding.

'This is fucking ridiculous,' Tony growled, clenching his hands into tight balls at his sides.

'Tony stop it!' Natasha hissed, clenching her teeth tightly.

'This is a joke,' Clint snapped, his fingers were twitching in apprehension, itching to grasp his arrows.

'No you guys are a fucking joke! You're all pathetic! This needs to sto-'

'ENOUGH!'

Tony's furious ramblings were interrupted by a deafening shout, the team turned to see Bruce standing shakily on his feet; his face was etched with exhaustion and frustration as he gripped the sofa for support, panting from his outburst, adrenaline was pumping through his veins.

'p-please just stop it,' he sighed, lowering himself back down to his seat as he felt everyone's eyes on him.

'It's not fair Bruce! It's not right that they-'

'Life isn't fair Tony, it's something that I'm used to,' Bruce spoke softly over his lab partner, silently willing for the billionaire to let it go.

Tony Stark was not though of as an emotional man but His words made the man's heart pang with guilt and caused the group to look down at the floor dejectedly. One by one they hesitantly sat down, all eyes were on Bruce yet again.

'Why did you walk out Doctor Banner?' Steve asked cautiously, 'earlier on the heli-carrier, what made you leave?'

'I-' Bruce's breath hitched, he didn't know where to begin.

There was a drip in the sofa and a familiar warm as he felt somebody sit close to him.

'Tell 'em Bruce,' the billionaire urged him softly 'tell them what you told me.'

Although the scientist felt weary under the gazes of his teammates he also felt strangely comforted by the mechanics close presence beside him, so he began to talk.

'I uh, I didn't walk out because I was angry,' the physicist sighed, wringing his hands together, 'you know right now I couldn't bring out the other guy even if I tried.'

The scientist moved his gaze to floor before continuing.

'This week the other guys come out five times, that's the most I've transformed in over 10 years.'

'When the-'Bruce swallowed uncertainly, '-other guy makes an appearance, it's not as easy as just transforming.'

'What do you mean?' Clint asked cautiously.

'Me and the other guy are both connected,' the doctor murmured, 'We're two separate minds but we're both bonded to one another.'

Everyone sat still and listened intently, the shy scientist was finally opening up, and no one was going to stop him.

'When he takes over, it's not like just flicking a switch; you can't just turn it on and off,' Bruce ran a hand through his hair to calm his nerves, 'when the uh- change happens it's…'

Tony leaned in close to the scientist in silent support, urging him to continue.

'It- it hurts.'

Banner took a sip of water to wet his dry throat before he continued.

'When the change happens it's- it's horrible; I feel everything,' the doctor crossed his arms and pulled them close to his chest, 'you don't know what it feels like to have every bone in your body broken, to feel every muscle being pulled and stretched and rearranged before you finally black out and let someone else take the wheel.'

'That sounds… horrible,' Steve whispered.

'And you know the worst thing is when I wake up I don't remember anything,' he uttered softly.

'Nothing?' Romanoff asked inquisitively.

'Sometimes I remember bits and piece, mostly just faces but nothing more than that.'

'That sounds truly awful friend Banner' Thor spoke, looking solemn, Bruce smiled sadly.

'It does doesn't it?'

'You know when you wake up half naked, covered in dust and blood, and you have no idea how you got there it's... scary.'

Bruce began fidgeting in his seat, he could feel pins and needles settling in his legs and his was sure his arms were starting to feel numb; he rubbed his arms in small circles, wincing at the feeling of cramp.

As the doctor spoke it was clear that now he was at his most vulnerable, everyone in the room felt guilt weighing them down.

'When a fight is over you guys take a shower and sleep it off, I- I can't do that,' he spoke dejectedly, 'everything aches and all I can do is wait for it to pass,' he took a shaky breath and continued, sounding so angry and broken.

'Everyone just expects me to play along whenever shield clicks its fingers I have to act like a puppet on a string and I can't do it anymore, I don't want to be used like that.'

The doctor's fingers gripped the glass in his hands tightly as he stared down at his feet

'Sometimes it hurts so much I can't even move, I don't have the energy to do anything except sleep, for days and its-' the physicist pulled his legs to his chest. '- it's not fair,' he whispered.

'Hey,' Tony's reassuring voice broke him out of his daze as he felt the glass being plucked from his hands and a reassuring arm settled across his back, 'It's ok Bruce, you've said enough.'

'I – I just can't do this anymore,' he stuttered shakily.

'Doctor Banner I-'

'I think that's enough.'

Steve was interrupted when Tony stood to his feet.

'C'mon buddy, you need some sleep before you have a break down.'

The billionaire offered his hand to his exhausted friend, who took it without a moment's hesitation. Tony knew Bruce had to get out, for his own good, and the genius couldn't bear to listen to his friend speak on.

It took the scientist a great effort to lift himself, when he had managed to stand to his feet he stumbled heavily, the cramp in his legs and the pins and needles made walking a task.

No one made any move to follow the lab partners as they left the room.

Instead the rest of the team remained seated, contemplating what they had just heard.

No one worded their thoughts, but they all came to the same conclusion.

Earths mightiest superheroes messed up; badly.


End file.
